I watched "Marley & Me" again last night. And I cried again.
For anyone who has ever lost a beloved pet, that film will make the tears flow for obvious reasons. But somehow, last night, my tears were different.
For the first time, I wasn't thinking about "Uncle Sam" (our "bad dog" who we lost several years ago) -- instead, while I watched, I let my heart feel the years of life that whizzed by in those two short hours. Somehow that whirlwind felt very real, and as the tears flowed freely down my cheeks, I tasted the bittersweet reality that as cliche as it sounds, life goes by way too fast.
I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for what's going to happen in my life in the next few months because I know there are some significant milestones just around the corner. Yet every day that I tear off a page on my "Life is Crap" calendar (yes, despite the title of this blog, I still get a good laugh out of those things that make you say "Aw crap!" -- like being out of coffee or dropping your cell phone in the toilet), I find myself wishing someone would wave a magic wand to make time stand still.
Within the next five months I will watch my oldest child graduate from high school, celebrate my husband's 50th birthday, celebrate 20 years of marriage, watch my daughter start college, help my middle son get started on his college search process, watch my youngest son start high school, and attend our first "Family Weekend" as the parents of a college student. Five months ago I was baking Christmas cookies.
When did my life start flying by at the speed of film?
Life happens and there is no slowing it down. All we can do is jump in, enjoy the ride, and try to create a story that you can look back upon with joy. When you look back, if the tears come, as they did for me last night, hopefully they are bittersweet -- not because there is regret, but because you would gladly jump back into any moment in time.
"Live a good life. And in the end it's not the years in the life, it's the life in the years." Abraham Lincoln