Poor Little Lilly

In the shadow of the passing of Lilly Pulitzer, you might think by title that this post would be about her -- but no, it's about my little Easter Lilly.

 

It's been a long-standing tradition in my home that Jeff brings me a Lilly in the days before Easter.  I love Easter lillies -- everything about them -- the purity of color, the fragrance, and mostly the way they seem to open up and trumpet in celebration of Jesus' resurrection.

 

photo from Google images

 

 

This year, when Jeff brought her home for me on Easter Saturday, she stood tall, with six buds ready to burst.  Glorious! 

 

As always, she was given a position of prominence in the kitchen window where surely we would enjoy her magnificent blooms.  Sadly, in the days that followed, we watched as she began to bow down under the weight of her trumpet blossoms, until one day we found her laying on her side -- some dirt from her flower pot spilled onto the sill.

 

I tried to prop her up by leaning her against a window box vase, but still she just collapsed -- her stem too frail to hold herself upright.  That didn't stop her from blooming though, as one by one the buds opened up beautifully!

 

Now almost a week and a half later, I'm encouraged to see that after a week of leaning -- she can stand a little on her own without toppling over.  

 

 

In all of our years together, Jeff and I have never seen an Easter Lilly that sagged so sadly.  Jeff figures that at the greenhouse, she was probably jammed between a few heartier ones, and didn't quite get the light she needed to grow straight from the start.  At some point she probably burst through towards the sun -- bound and determined to make it -- but her stem didn't develop strongly enough to really support her.

Looking at her today I felt a little tug at my heart.  I can't help but wonder if Lilly isn't trying to tell me something.  We all need room to grow -- in our own time and at our own pace.   There will be times when we'll stand upright -- confident and ready for what the world has in store for us.  There will be times when we stumble and fall and we'll need to lean on a friend. 

Through it all, may we never forget to bow our heads and pray...just like little Lilly. 

Hello Old Friend

It's been such a long time since I've even stopped by to say hello here 'Round the Kitchen Table.  I'm embarrassed to say that I almost forgot my way.   Truth is life has just been swirling around so quickly that I haven't quite known how to fit it all in.  I'm making some adjustments though, and hoping to find my way back to dedicated time for writing.  There are so many pointless things that I spend time with.  I would so much rather spend time here....playing around with words, being inspired by all the people who visit, and whose writing I enjoy so much. 

I am not making promises - not to you and not to me -- but I'm trying.  I'm cleaning out the cobwebs.  Exercising the mind.  Loosening up the fingers so that they can dance around the keyboard. 

I guess that's the wonderful thing about a true good friend...when you get to spend time together  you can pick up right where you left off.  And whether you get to spend 5 hours, 5 days, or 5 years reconnecting -- each minute is special. 

It is great to see you again old friend.  I've missed you.

Thankful

It's been forever since I've written -- and I apologize for that.  But as one faithful reader once told me, the beautiful thing about a blog is that your readers are there when you write, and they understand when life gets in the way.  

Well -- 2010 has been quite a whirlwind, with the usual day to day of a family of five, plus a college search, some family health concerns, and a job that had my head spinning for months...spinning so fast, in fact, that I launched myself right into a completely new job with a new organization.  Yes, this has been a whirlwind year -- and as a result, I've neglected to take time 'Round the Kitchen Table.

But this morning - on the eve of my favorite holiday - Thanksgiving - I can't help but pause and count my blessings.

Today and every day, I'm thankful for...

...the food on my plate, and the roof over my head.
...a job that interests and challenges me, at a time when so many are struggling to find work.
...my friends, who understand and forgive me for not being in touch more often
...and the friends I see regularly who listen patiently, laugh heartily, and are always willing to help me drink a bottle of wine.
...my siblings, aunts and uncle who I don't see often enough -- but I know each and every one of them are there to hold me up if I'm about to fall.
 ...my husband and children whose smiling faces, brilliant senses of humor, and unconditional love fuel my every move.
 ...and my parents who provide living proof every day that "love is patient, love is kind....It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails."

Wishing you and yours a very happy Thanksgiving! 

No More Hooey!

Have you ever had a job where you love the actual work you do -- but for some reason, you come home at night at just bitch bitch bitch about all the things that are wrong at work?   I feel like that has been the story of my life.  I am a pretty upbeat and positive person, and I try to stay focused on the great things we're accomplishing at work, but inevitably, when dinner time rolls around and the family starts talking about the highs and lows of our day, we linger a bit too long on Mommy's lows -- which really stinks, because I LOVE MY JOB. 


Well, after all these years, I think I may have figured out why this keeps happening to me.  I'm a result-oriented person living in a clock-watching world.  And here's the kicker -- I don't even own a watch.

I've always known I was result-oriented -- I mean, afterall, it's one of the bullet points under the "Professional Profile" of my resume :-) ... I just didn't know how it sucked the life out of me to work with clock watchers.  But as I'm reading this book, Why Work Sucks, it's all starting to make sense to me.

All I can say is God bless Andy Levine from Sixth Man for mentioning this book at a recent conference he spoke at.  I'm pretty sure I would have taken one look at the cover (and title) of this book and written it off as a bunch of hooey.  But even though I'm only on chapter 3, I really believe it's going to change my life.  In fact, I think it already has. 

Just for the record, the full title of the book is Why Work Sucks and How to Fix It: No Schedules, No Meetings, No Joke--the Simple Change That Can Make Your Job Terrific.  If you have ever felt like you needed some help dealing with the people you work with who measure your worth by the number of hours you're at your desk every day, or the number of meetings you attend -- instead of the value you bring to the organization -- you really really have to read it.

I know it might not be fully implementable if you're not the "big boss" of an organization -- but I think there are elements we can all apply to our lives.  And there is no doubt there is a truth to this book that should make everyone stop and think about how to work smarter in every aspect of their life.

OK...I'm rambling...and there is no point to that.  Get the book.  Read it.  Live it.

I'm off to make things happen!

Lost

No...
...not a roadtrip gone awry, and not the TV show that has the world so entranced with its final season.

Just a bit about how I've been feeling lately.

On the one hand, life has been just wonderful since I started my new job in November. The work I do is meaningful to me, and I know I have a tremendous opportunity to make a difference with this organization -- and Lord knows the work is plentiful, which leaves me with a strong sense of security. However, I can't help feeling a little lost because life seems so out of balance lately as work has somehow overcome my every waking moment.

I don't want to come across as complaining -- because I really love the challenge of it all. But what is exhausting though is that I just don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. Each week I come up with my list of things I need to get accomplished, but then somehow the working hours get filled up with meetings, where little is really accomplished. I find myself arriving early and staying late every day to actually get the work done. By the time I get home each night (after a 40 minute drive), I am spent -- and have little energy for anything that requires thought or human interaction.

I find myself sitting and staring blankly at a television screen, or "catching up" with family and friends through Facebook -- hardly a meaningful exchange.

If I'm smart I get myself to bed at a reasonable hour, but more often than not I fall asleep on the sofa watching TV. When I wake up a few hours later (usually around 1:00 a.m.) I've had just enough rest that my mind starts going again -- usually racing with thoughts of what needs to be done at work the next day.

When I turned the page on the calendar to March, I realized that another month had gone by with little to no time dedicated to really living.

I've been down this road before, and I don't want this to become the norm. I can't let this become the norm -- because there is nothing normal or healthy about a life out of balance. But what do I do to find better alignment?

God, grant me the serenity...

Unexpected Christmas Gifts!

Dear Santa,
I just wanted to write to say thank you, because once again, WE DID IT!
Another wonderful holiday has come and gone, and I owe it all to you. With your help we decorated, shopped, wrapped, baked (more than 450 cookies), cooked, and this year we even managed to get a holiday card out...EARLY!! I know it was only an e-greeting, but it beat the heck out of no greeting at all! (Thank you Smilebox.com!)



Beyond all of the usual holiday-related tasks, this year you even helped us move our daughter home from college and get her transfer applications out in time, so that she can start second semester at a school closer to home. Yes, we pulled it off...even while I was adjusting to the new job and new commute.

Like every year, I know I couldn't have done it without you!

The only thing I have been bummed about through the holidays, is that I rarely found time to keep up with my blogs. At this time of year there are so many great family traditions, funny stories and special recipes to share -- but with everything that was going on, the time to write escaped me. By the middle of last week I was getting kind of cranky, because I really NEED my writing time – in fact I was just whining to my hubby that after the holidays I was determined to get back into better routine that gave me my "escape" time to write.

Lo and behold, you must have been eavesdropping on our conversation, because the very next day I received a message from Heather at The Secret Is In The Sauce, saying that I was going to be today's featured blogger. That news was just the little shot in the arm that I needed to stay true to my commitment! So....THANK YOU Santa...and my SITS friends...for this wonderful, and very unexpected gift!



Whether today is your first or fiftieth visit to my blog, I just want to Welcome You and Thank You for stopping by today. Please pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee and join me ‘Round the Kitchen Table. I'm not exactly sure how I’d describe this place – it’s kind of like everyday life – with a little bit of this, and little bit of that.

If you have time, I hope you’ll check out some of my favorite posts, including The Philosophy of Nicholas and Sarah, which I truly believe holds the secret to life! You can also find some quick and easy recipes -- but I apologize in advance if you stumble upon broken links in my recipes.

Also, if you’re so inclined, I’d love for you to swing by my other blog – Today I Pray. As I try to figure out how I'm going to manage the two blogs in the new year, I’d really love your suggestions about how I could bring the two blogs together somehow.

Thanks again for coming by today. I look forward to getting to know you -- I've met so many great people through SITS, I know this is the beginning of some great new connections!

I know that 2010 is a joy-filled year for you if you remember the secret of life -- just be happy!!

Lauren

I Can't Take Credit...

...but I can find joy in sharing this message with you. A version of this message arrived in my email today and I absolutely consider it an early Christmas present -- one I will gladly share with you.

By Regina Brett, The Plain Dealer

September 20, 2007, 2:03PM

Originally published in The Plain Dealer on Sunday, May 28, 2006

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Wishing you a joyful Christmas, and true happiness in the New Year!

Lauren :)

I'm Back!

It feels like it has been forever and a day -- but I'm BACK!! My, how I've missed you!

Six weeks ago my blog was disabled by Blogger because an automated "bot" picked up some "spam-like characteristics" on my blog (I'm still not exactly sure what that means -- but whatever it is, I must figure it out so that it doesn't happen again). Since then I've been going through the restoration process to have a human look at my blog to confirm that it's legit, and then restore it. It was definitely a lesson in patience, as there are no humans to actually talk to -- you just need to complete some online forms, post your blog site on a message board, then wait....and wait...and wait for your turn to be reviewed.

You cannot imagine my delight when I logged on to my computer this morning and found this great gift from Blogger -- my blog is back in action!

So friends -- grab a cup of coffee, pull up a chair, and join me 'Round the Kitchen Table -- we have lots to catch up on. It might take me a moment to collect my thoughts and pull my overjoyed self together -- so in the meantime, please, tell me how you've been!

Forgot Something

6:00 AM -- A much earlier wake up than I'm accustomed to on a Sunday. I went to the bathroom, then climbed back in bed, hoping to return to the same cozy spot and sweet dreams of just moments before....but that wasn't meant to be. My mind started its morning stretches, and was quickly moving on to "race mode"....so I got up to start my day.

I actually love the early morning when the house is still sleeping. Even the dog lay still as I made my way to the kitchen. The skies were just starting to lighten, so I kept the kitchen lights dim, lit my new "Cozy Home" candle and started a pot of coffee.

As the coffeemaker gurgled and perked, I went about emptying the dishwasher and tidying up the dishes that had been left from last night. A few more morning chores -- feed the dogs, sort through a stack of mail, wipe down the counter -- and I could enjoy some quiet "me time." Just a cup of fresh-brewed coffee and a visit to all my favorite blog sites to catch up with my "blogging friends."

Just before the coffee maker beeped, I grabbed a cup, poured a splash of cream in the cup (my way of saving a step by not having to use a spoon), then waited for beep and that last drop of rich coffee to fall from the filter.

"Beeeeeeeeeeep. Beeeeeeeeep. Beeeeeeeep."

I reached for the pot and started to pour, but to my chagrin the nectar of the coffee gods wasn't the rich black-brown that I'm accustomed to...and rather than turning the cream in my cup to a light brown, it turned it to a watery skim milk.

Arghhhhh...in sleepy haze I must have forgotten to add the coffee grinds! So much for my mind doing its morning stretches. Let's try this again.



Ahhhh...much better. Now, let the day begin!

"Forever: The time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the
morning." ~Author Unknown

Oh Baby!

Yesterday I went to visit my friends where I used to work. It had been a long time since I'd seen many of them, and some had gone through some significant personal changes in their lives -- specifically in their roles as mothers.

As I drove home from my visit, a hundred emotions were going through my head. Having just returned from dropping off my daughter for her first year of college, the emotions of each of the mothers with whom I spoke played upon heart.

It doesn't matter how old your "baby" -- sometimes the emotions of parenthood are just overwhelming. Despite my best efforts to get passed all those maternal feelings this morning, I knew I wouldn't be able to focus until I got these words on paper.

So dear friends...and dear children...this little poem is for you.

Ode to My Baby

I lived a life
I thought complete
But then I met you
Baby sweet

Precious soul
With angel eyes
Innocence
My life’s prize

And just like that
I've come to feel
The heart of a mother
A bond so real

I feel your hurt
I cry your tears
I’d move mountains
To calm your fears

Little love
Who touched my soul
You changed my life
You made me whole

Difference Makers - Part I

A couple weeks ago I posed the question, "What are you contributing?" I want to thank the handful of people who shared their thoughts and reflections about that post. As silly as it may sound, that post made me stop and think about all the people I've met (and are still meeting) who are making a difference in this world.

There are people like my mom -- the kind of people who make a difference and probably never even stop to consider it. They just live their lives, and their actions and attitudes make other people smile.

There are volunteers and philanthropists who support causes with gifts of time, talent and treasure. Having spent several years working in fundraising for a college, I never ceased to be humbled by donors who supported the college's mission. Every donor, whether their gift was big or small, made a difference -- and these generous people inspired me to really think differently about my own charitable giving. Though I'm not by any means what would be considered a "major donor," I give what I can to the organizations that are nearest and dearest to my heart -- and when I give, I always try to "reach." You see, even when the amounts aren't huge, every time someone "reaches" someone (or maybe more) is impacted by their generosity.

I offer this as an example. Supposing 2000 people committed to giving a college $25 to go towards financial aid. Basic math -- that's $50,000.

As the mother of a college-bound freshman, I can tell you -- for sure -- that even a fraction of that amount would be a burden lifted. For some families, it could be the difference between being able to attend college or not.

Now stop for a moment, and think with me.

What if just half of those 2000 people decided that, above and beyond the $25 gift, they would sacrifice one latte a month for the cause. At $3.50 per month, that would be an additional $42 per person per year per person.

[$25 x 2000 = $50,000] + [$42 X 1000 = $42,000]

= $92,000 for financial aid

WOW -- talk about making a difference....and all because 1000 people sacrificed a latte a month for a year.

But let me take this one step further. No, I'm not going to suggest that 3,000 people made this effort, or that people sacrificed two lattes -- that's just basic math and you could figure it out yourself.

Instead I want to talk about the ripple effect of good deeds. The people you know, and those you may never know, who will be inspired to act because of your actions.

Maybe your good deeds will inspire volunteerism or philanthropy -- or maybe they'll inspire more good deeds...or a positive attitude...or self-love. With all those good deeds going 'round, the good that you put out there couldn't help but come back to you.

Before I wrap up, I want to introduce you to someone who I've gotten to know, who I consider a real difference maker. I've never actually met this woman, I've merely read her words, and listened to her podcasts. With every post Tabitha inspires me to be more present in my life. To give. To share. To laugh. To appreciate. To choose a life of bliss.

Tabitha has a great story of overcoming many challenges in her life -- and turning obstacles into opportunities. Her life is all about doing right by others, and her kindness is positively contagious. She doesn't know it (yet) but she inspired me to sign up with an organization called Spirit Jump. I'll write more about Spirit Jump in Difference Makers - Part II -- but for now, suffice it to say, that Tabitha's inspiration is a great example of the ripple effect of good deeds.

I hope you'll take a moment to visit Tabitha's blog -- and if you have a few minutes, listen to her most recent podcast (there are a total of five podcasts that you can find on her blog, but this one she released today really hit home for me). Not only does Tabitha have a voice that's smooth as silk, but with each podcast she provides food for thought -- and nourishment for the soul.

So how about you -- who or what has inspired you in your lifetime?

Feel free to share links to the organizations that you believe in. You just never know -- your comment may just be the pebble in the pond to start a ripple effect of its own!

Feeling Guilty

OK --I'm feeling so guilty because I've been neglecting this blog, and my loyal readers. I am really hoping that I'll be able to get back into a better blogging routine next week because -- I MISS YOU!

The long and short of it, is that the past month has been extremely hectic. I've been busy developing a new service line for the consulting firm I work with. It's a whole new vertical for us -- and something very near and dear to my heart, so I'm really excited and busy with that. When I'm not in the office (which practically never happens between work and blogging), I've been enjoying this beautiful summer, working in the garden, and preparing for Amy's graduation party this weekend.






The fruits of our labor. Young plants -- hopefully will be more abundant next year.

I'm very excited (seriously) to spend all day in the kitchen tomorrow, cooking and baking. Not quite as excited about the cleaning that still needs to be done...but hopefully we'll have a good day on Saturday and we can be outside (and away from the dust bunnies). Right now the weather looks a little iffy -- so if you could, please say a prayer that it's a sunny and beautiful!

Lessons from Mom

I've learned so much from my mother over the years.
I've learned about smiling through difficult times.
Creating a home that overflows with love.
Giving without expecting anything in return.
Unconditional and unfailling love.

I could go on and on with the list -- or you could read more stories about my Mom if you'd like. The point is -- she is one special lady -- and she has taught me some of the most valuable lessons of life. The one I want to share with you today is about keeping house.

Now before I say another word, I want you to know that my Mom keeps a very orderly house. She's not neurotic about cleaning-- but she is conscientious and she takes very good care of her home. I honestly don't remember a time when I walked into her home and thought it looked out of order.

That said, I also don't remember my mother ever missing out on anything because she needed to stay home and do housework. In fact, growing up there was a magnet on our refrigerator that said, "A clean house is a sign of a life misspent."

That's the lesson my Mom taught me.

My Mom taught me that there were no household chores that were more important than enjoying family and friends -- and life. From Mom I learned that Saturday mornings didn't necessarily have to be spent doing housework -- that could be done at any hour of the day. When it came to Saturday morning cartoons, dance lessons, and high school football games -- we either put down the broom or missed it.

Needless to say, when I received the following verse in an email this morning, I realized how very lucky I am that my Mom taught me this very important lesson before I missed out on too much living!

Dusting...

Author unknown

Remember...a layer of dust protects the wood beneath it.

'A house becomes a home when you can write 'I love you' on the furniture ...'

I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect -- just in case someone came over

Finally I realized one day that no one came over; they were all out living life and having fun!

Now, when people visit, I don't have to explain the 'condition' of my home. They are more interested in hearing about the things I've been doing while I was away living life and having fun.

If you haven't figured this out yet, please heed this advice. Life is short. Enjoy it!

Dust if you must
but wouldn't it be better
to paint a picture or write a letter,
bake cookies or a cake
and lick the spoon
or plant a seed,
ponder the difference between want and need?!

Dust if you must, but there's not much time . . . .
with wine to drink, rivers to swim and mountains to climb,
music to hear and books to read,
friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must,
but the world's out there with the sun in your eyes,
the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain.
This day will not come around, again.

Dust if you must,
but bear in mind, old age will come and it's not kind. . .
And when you go -
and go you must - you, yourself will make more dust!

Mom, I am forever grateful that you taught me this life lesson. I've come to appreciate the dust bunnies (some of them even have names)....and when I see cobwebs strung from the curtains and ceiling I smile and see them as "streamers" that are celebrating LIFE!

As always, thanks for being wonderful YOU.

What are you contributing?

The world is full of old adages, musings and cliches that I invariably mull over in my head for days on end. Today I'm stuck on the expression, "You get out of life what you put into it."

I know I have heard this expression all of my life, though it may have taken a slightly different form. Maybe, "You are what you eat," or "What comes around goes around," but the essence of the saying always stayed the same. It was probably about 15 years ago, though, when I was listening to an audio tape series called "Lead The Field" by Earl Nightingale, that the reality of this statement started weighing heavily on my mind.

Nightingale told the story of a woman who was lonely after moving to a new part of the country. The woman complained that the people in this area were cold and unfriendly, and she hadn't made any friends with whom she really connected. The woman's husband was puzzled; he couldn't understand why she described the town that way, when he had found it to be quite the opposite. What they found, after examining their very divergent perspectives on the area, was that he was out talking to people and feeding the community with his upbeat spirit, while she had essentially closed herself off from the world.

Over the years I've thought about this story many times. I've thought about how when I am philanthropic, good things seem to flow back to me. And how after inviting guests into our home, we are often flooded with invitations to join others (sometimes to the point that you think of the old Morton Salt commercial...."when it rains it pours!"). Or after spending one-on-one time with one of my children, they'll come and plunk themselves down in my office just to say hello.

After years of witnessing the truth behind the adage, "You get out of life what you put into it," I am sitting here scratching my head and wondering how I ever get caught up in a spiral of selfishness -- but inevitably I do. And I know I am not alone in that because I see it every day -- people who think first about themselves, then about others.

So, after all this rambling that's really not leading up to any big revelation -- let me ask you --

Do you agree that "You get out of life what you put into it?"

What contributions to this life are you most proud of?

What are the non-negotiables when it comes to contributing (i.e. I may not be big on opening my house for a party, but you can always count on me to welcome a new family to the neighborhood.)

I would love it if you would post your thoughts in the comments section of my blog so that we could create some lively discussion around the idea. How about some good conversation...'Round the Kitchen Table?


Side Note: If you have never read or listened to anything by Earl Nightingale, I strongly recommend that you do. My aunt introduced my husband and I to him many years ago (through the audio tapes), and I have never regretted the time spent listening -- in fact, 'til this day, I'm truly grateful for it. Whether you are trying to be more successful in business, your relationships, or just life in general -- he has some wonderful lessons to share.

Garden of Weeding

I spent almost the entire day in my garden last Sunday, diligently pulling weeds and trying to restore some order to my perennial garden.

Despite the story that my pictures tell, I'm really not much of a gardener. In fact, over the years there have been many times when my husband and I have stood there and examined a plant that was growing, trying to decide if it was friend or foe to the garden. Sometimes it can be hard to tell. So hard, in fact, that I have already let full crops of weeds grow for a season, sure that eventually they’d bloom; and in the same season wondered when the daisies were going to sprout, only to realize that I had mistakenly pulled them as weeds early on in the season.

The wild violets that have slowly overtaken my garden are my most recent brown thumb blunder. I had always admired what seemed to be a very delicate violet growing along the side of a friend’s house. When she offered to divide a plant for me a few years ago, I jumped at the chance to add it to my garden. Little did I realize that these violets weren’t so delicate at all. In fact, in just a few short years, they have invaded my garden to the point that they appear to have a strangle hold on peony plants that have bloomed in utter abundance for at least two decades. These stunning peonies were the hub of my garden when we first moved here, but this year they have been reduced to just a handful of blooms. I’d like to believe that they are just tired or that perhaps the soil needs to be enriched – but when I see those little violets flourishing below the peonies, I know the soil is fine – it’s just that the violets are literally strangling the roots of my peonies.

Fortunately, I'm pretty sure that I’ll be able to uproot and transplant the peonies later this season to free them from the grasp of these invaders, and restore them to their full beauty. It will require some intensive care and attention, but I'm hopeful that it can be done. Sadly, it all could have been avoided if I had I only known that the violets were garden bullies.

Anyhow, as I worked that day in the garden, trying to distinguish the weeds from the plants, my mind drifted, and it dawned on me how similar a garden is to life. The soil -- our foundation that needs to be tended to keep it rich and fertile. The plants -- our blessings, our talents, our gifts that grow in the light of day. The water and sun – that which sustains us. And the weeds – the vices that keep us from being our best. It’s scary to realize how quickly (and sometimes unexpectedly) the weeds can invade. Like the violets, sometimes we even plant them ourselves – mistaking them for something that will enhance the garden -- only to find that over time they invade and choke out the good.

These thoughts have been weighing heavily on my mind lately. What are the plants that are essential to my garden? What are the weeds that are invading? Are there plants that need some intensive care and attention?

We all have weeds growing in our garden – heaven knows they’ll never be perfect. Our best hope is that we spot them easily, remove them quickly, and let the flowers bloom in fragrant abundance.

My Compass

My oldest child (and only daughter) will be graduating from high school in less than two weeks. I know it sounds trite, but I'm not exactly sure where the years went.

Last month we attended the orientation program for the college she'll be attending in the fall. As we were put through the paces of the busy weekend, I couldn't help but remember my own college orientation and the ensuing experience.

From start to finish, college was a time of learning and personal growth. An unforgettable chapter of my life where I was pushed to learn more, be more, do more than I ever imagined. I made lifelong friends (the kind that are more like family than friends), and I have journals and photo albums overflowing with stories from "the good old days."

The most treasured memories, however, aren't the ones that you have to read in a diary -- they are the ones that stay with you every day. They are the memories that define you. The life lessons that make you who you are. I am blessed to have such memories as a result of being a part of a sorority.

Over the years, there were many "rah-rah" good times with an amazing group of women -- but those are not the memories that shaped me. My everyday blessing comes from the beautiful words that are:

 

The Symphony of Alpha Chi Omega

To see beauty
even in the common things of life,
to shed the light of love and friendship
round me;
to keep my life in tune with the world
that I shall make no
discords
in the harmony of life;
to strike on the lyre of the universe
only the notes of happiness,
of joy, of peace;
to appreciate every
little service rendered;
to see and appreciate all that is noble in another,
be her badge what it may;
and to let my lyre send forth the chords
of love, unselfishness, sincerity.

This is to be my symphony.
~Celia McClure

It's been 20+ years since college, and in many ways the idea of sorority life is completely incomprehensible to me now, yet these words still linger in my mind. Beautiful words to live by. Beautiful words that inspire me. An internal compass that always points me in the right direction.

I have no idea what every day blessings will come from the next chapter of my daughter's life. I can only hope that the chapter is defined by limitless opportunity, challenges to grow both personally and intellectually, abundant happiness -- and her own internal compass that will always steer her home.

I love you Amy! Every day you give me a million reasons to be incredibly proud.

A Different View

On most every day of the week, I wake in the morning, grab a cup of coffee, then move to my office which is situated at the front of my house. My office is arranged in a way that I have a lovely view out my front window, and I have to be honest, for someone who lives in a relatively unglamorous part of the world (northeast Pennsylvania), I think this view is pretty special.

On most every day, I look out my window and see a beautiful community park, with large fields for playing, an amazing variety of trees that celebrate the seasons (at the moment they are incredibly lush green), and birds galore. In the colder months when the trees are bare, beyond the park I see a beautiful stone farmhouse and a horse farm where the horses are often let out to run and feed. Beyond the farm is a gorgeous expanse of mountains -- then nothing but clear blue skies. It's truly one of the most beautiful views that I could imagine (short of a waterfront or mountaintop view) -- and every day I thank God that I get to enjoy it.

Today, however, when I look out my window I see something different. Today is May 23, 2009 -- the Saturday of Memorial Day Weekend -- and I've been reflecting upon the significance of this holiday. I know my eyes are playing tricks on me, but today out of my window the large fields are lined with headstones, each decorated with an American flag. From the farmhouse, I can hear the cry of a mother who just learned she lost her child to the war; and high atop the mountain I can see a flag being lifted to celebrate our freedom -- a freedom that came at a price for countless soldiers and their families over hundreds of years.

This morning as I enjoy my coffee and my view, I am remembering those fallen soldiers and their families. Praying with a grateful heart for the heroes that have given us the greatest gift - freedom.

God Bless America

Counting Sheep

I love sleep. Sleep is a good thing, and there is nothing like waking up in the morning after a great night's sleep -- refreshed and ready for new day.

Nights like tonight on the other hand -- not so great.

3:42 AM: My eyes don't want to open and my body is so tired it hurts, but my mind is like a puppy who has been crated for a couple hours -- wide awake and ready to play. A tired body just doesn't stand a chance against an energized mind.

3:45 AM: I ask myself, "What are you worried about?" This is usually a good question for me, because I usually realize that there's not much I can do in the middle of the night that I can't do better in the morning (with a couple more hours of sleep). No worries come to mind tonight, just a whirlwind of ideas.

4:00 AM: Search my nightstand for my rosary beads and pray. This is along the lines of counting sheep, but a whole lot more rewarding in my opinion. I keep rosary beads beside my bed and somehow just holding them in my hand usually puts me right back to sleep. While I pray I am unloading all that is on my mind and it quiets right down. When this works, I'm usually snoring 1/3 of the way through the first decade. Tonight -- the entire rosary.

4:30 AM: Break out the deep relaxation music on my iPod. I have several great podcasts that I play in sequence that always do the trick - no words, just relaxing sounds that typically whisk me off to some tropical island paradise in my mind. This morning the boat to paradise was anchored on the shores of some big party town.

5:00 AM: I surrender to my inner puppy and drag my tired butt out of bed and down to my office. Check my email. Read about a truck that is ablaze on a local highway. Make my to do list for the day.

5:20: Let my brain release some of its energy and write this post.

6:15 AM: My mind is finally quiet....just in time to start my day. Of course now all I want to do is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Sleepless nights happen to the best of us. What's your best trick for falling back to sleep?

A Good Cry

I watched "Marley & Me" again last night. And I cried again.

For anyone who has ever lost a beloved pet, that film will make the tears flow for obvious reasons. But somehow, last night, my tears were different.

For the first time, I wasn't thinking about "Uncle Sam" (our "bad dog" who we lost several years ago) -- instead, while I watched, I let my heart feel the years of life that whizzed by in those two short hours. Somehow that whirlwind felt very real, and as the tears flowed freely down my cheeks, I tasted the bittersweet reality that as cliche as it sounds, life goes by way too fast.

I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for what's going to happen in my life in the next few months because I know there are some significant milestones just around the corner. Yet every day that I tear off a page on my "Life is Crap" calendar (yes, despite the title of this blog, I still get a good laugh out of those things that make you say "Aw crap!" -- like being out of coffee or dropping your cell phone in the toilet), I find myself wishing someone would wave a magic wand to make time stand still.

Within the next five months I will watch my oldest child graduate from high school, celebrate my husband's 50th birthday, celebrate 20 years of marriage, watch my daughter start college, help my middle son get started on his college search process, watch my youngest son start high school, and attend our first "Family Weekend" as the parents of a college student. Five months ago I was baking Christmas cookies.

When did my life start flying by at the speed of film?

Life happens and there is no slowing it down. All we can do is jump in, enjoy the ride, and try to create a story that you can look back upon with joy. When you look back, if the tears come, as they did for me last night, hopefully they are bittersweet -- not because there is regret, but because you would gladly jump back into any moment in time.

"Live a good life. And in the end it's not the years in the life, it's the life in the years." Abraham Lincoln

Patchwork Pillows

I realized today that patchwork pillows are really just art for the artistically challenged.

When I was in third grade, my grammar school had an art show – it was like a science fair for the artistically blessed. Unfortunately, I was not one of those people. I couldn’t even get all the crayons back in the box, let alone make snowflake garland or fold an origami tea set. Participation in the art show was not optional, and I upon receiving the assignment, I immediately envisioned all the parents and teachers snickering as they walked past my pathetic display. I knew that unless they let me submit a haiku, I was doomed.

In the weeks leading up to the show, I lived in denial about my required participation. I had convinced myself that if I didn’t talk about it, I could will it away. No such luck. On the night before my project was due, I sheepishly went to my mother with the assignment, prepared to take the wrath for my ill-preparedness. Fortunately my Mom was (and still is) the kindest, most forgiving mom in the universe, so she didn’t dwell for too long on my superior ability to procrastinate, but instead cut to the quick and started figuring out how to get an art show-worthy project done inside four hours.

Unlike me, my mother is incredibly gifted artistically. She is also incredibly honorable. So unfortunately for me, when I suggested that I re-sign one of her oil paintings, or blow the dust off one her handmade dried flower arrangements (she even used to grow the flowers herself, then dry them), she wouldn’t go for it. Instead she reminded me of the importance of working to the best of my ability, using my God-given talents, and doing my own work (a lesson I am so blessed to have learned).

“So you want me to fail,” I thought?

But failing was the furthest thing from her mind. Instead she took off up the stairs and started digging through the storage closet in her bedroom. She had nearly vanished amidst the garment bags and the Christmas wrapping when I heard her yell, “I found it!” With that she tossed a black garbage bag onto the floor of her room.

One of my mother’s many artistic talents was her ability to sew, and the bag was overflowing with remnants and scraps of every fabric she had ever worked with in her 24 years of marriage. I looked at her blankly. I didn’t know the first thing about sewing, and with three and a half hours ‘til bedtime, it was not the time to learn.

“You’re making a patchwork pillow,” she told me, “start picking out fabrics.”

Still confused, I emptied the content of the bag on the floor and started looking at all the fabrics. There was every color and texture imaginable -- florals, stripes, checks, plaids, denim, corduroy, taffeta, lace, velvet, eyelet, pastels, and jewel tones. Before we even did a thing with it, this pile of fabric looked like a work of art. My mother was a genius – even I could do this.

I started pulling out the fabrics that I liked, and laying them side by side on the floor, moving them around to see which fabrics looked nicest next to each other. My mom showed me how to cut the perfect little squares, and pin them together in the layout that I liked. Once I had the patchwork pinned together, she would sew it on the machine, add the solid back panel, and then I could stuff it and hand stitch the small seam to finish the pillow.

I ended up picking out ten different fabrics in all. Each one representing a special occasion my mother had made something for throughout the years. Among the swatches were fabrics used for prom dresses, Easter dresses, Halloween costumes and much more. The backing was a sturdy fabric that she used to make curtains in our family room. When it was all finished the pillow told a story of many happy memories for our family.

After each square that she joined together, my mom showed me how beautifully it was all coming together, and the whole pillow was completed with time to spare before bedtime. I felt badly that my mom had done the sewing, but she assured me that it was “the creation of the patchwork layout” that was the art – the sewing was just the mechanics. My mother had found the perfect outlet for the artistically challenged.

My patchwork pillow didn’t win any awards at the art show, but I didn’t hear anyone snickering as they walked by my display.

Thirty-some years later I’ve realized that life is a lot like a patchwork pillow. Every experience is its own piece of fabric, joined together to create a special little work of art with intricate texture and dimension, held together by a sturdy backing, and filled with a stuffing that you never really see – but it is what makes this hodge podge of fabric a pillow.

Yes, I do believe life is a lot like a patchwork pillow.