Lost

No...
...not a roadtrip gone awry, and not the TV show that has the world so entranced with its final season.

Just a bit about how I've been feeling lately.

On the one hand, life has been just wonderful since I started my new job in November. The work I do is meaningful to me, and I know I have a tremendous opportunity to make a difference with this organization -- and Lord knows the work is plentiful, which leaves me with a strong sense of security. However, I can't help feeling a little lost because life seems so out of balance lately as work has somehow overcome my every waking moment.

I don't want to come across as complaining -- because I really love the challenge of it all. But what is exhausting though is that I just don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. Each week I come up with my list of things I need to get accomplished, but then somehow the working hours get filled up with meetings, where little is really accomplished. I find myself arriving early and staying late every day to actually get the work done. By the time I get home each night (after a 40 minute drive), I am spent -- and have little energy for anything that requires thought or human interaction.

I find myself sitting and staring blankly at a television screen, or "catching up" with family and friends through Facebook -- hardly a meaningful exchange.

If I'm smart I get myself to bed at a reasonable hour, but more often than not I fall asleep on the sofa watching TV. When I wake up a few hours later (usually around 1:00 a.m.) I've had just enough rest that my mind starts going again -- usually racing with thoughts of what needs to be done at work the next day.

When I turned the page on the calendar to March, I realized that another month had gone by with little to no time dedicated to really living.

I've been down this road before, and I don't want this to become the norm. I can't let this become the norm -- because there is nothing normal or healthy about a life out of balance. But what do I do to find better alignment?

God, grant me the serenity...