Counting Sheep

I love sleep. Sleep is a good thing, and there is nothing like waking up in the morning after a great night's sleep -- refreshed and ready for new day.

Nights like tonight on the other hand -- not so great.

3:42 AM: My eyes don't want to open and my body is so tired it hurts, but my mind is like a puppy who has been crated for a couple hours -- wide awake and ready to play. A tired body just doesn't stand a chance against an energized mind.

3:45 AM: I ask myself, "What are you worried about?" This is usually a good question for me, because I usually realize that there's not much I can do in the middle of the night that I can't do better in the morning (with a couple more hours of sleep). No worries come to mind tonight, just a whirlwind of ideas.

4:00 AM: Search my nightstand for my rosary beads and pray. This is along the lines of counting sheep, but a whole lot more rewarding in my opinion. I keep rosary beads beside my bed and somehow just holding them in my hand usually puts me right back to sleep. While I pray I am unloading all that is on my mind and it quiets right down. When this works, I'm usually snoring 1/3 of the way through the first decade. Tonight -- the entire rosary.

4:30 AM: Break out the deep relaxation music on my iPod. I have several great podcasts that I play in sequence that always do the trick - no words, just relaxing sounds that typically whisk me off to some tropical island paradise in my mind. This morning the boat to paradise was anchored on the shores of some big party town.

5:00 AM: I surrender to my inner puppy and drag my tired butt out of bed and down to my office. Check my email. Read about a truck that is ablaze on a local highway. Make my to do list for the day.

5:20: Let my brain release some of its energy and write this post.

6:15 AM: My mind is finally quiet....just in time to start my day. Of course now all I want to do is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Sleepless nights happen to the best of us. What's your best trick for falling back to sleep?

Unexpected Gifts

Did you ever notice that the gifts you receive when you least expect them are often the greatest gifts of all?

I turned the page on my daily planner this morning, and found a sticky note that my son had left for me. It said:

"Mom, I read some of your blogs and must say...'Holy S#@! Santa Claus -- they rock!"

I know maybe at 14-years old he's not necessarily a seasoned critic, and perhaps I should be concerned about his use of expletives to express himself -- but the truth is, his words meant the world to me.

My primary motivation for writing my blog is pretty self-serving. I enjoy writing and find that my spirits are lifted when I connect pen and paper (or in this case, fingers and keyboard) on a regular basis. There's also something comforting about knowing that I'm sharing a little piece of myself with anyone who stumbles upon my blog. Maybe that sounds strange, but to me it just feels right. Despite that selfish motivation, I can't help but wonder if anyone is reading it -- and if they are, do they like it? Do they get it? Do they want more?

Jake's note was an unexpected gift -- delivered at the moment I needed it the most. It made my heart soar, and my eyes well up with tears. Someone is reading this! Someone likes it! His words gave me the motivation I need to keep at it. His words were a gift I will treasure forever.

NOTE TO SELF: Don't ever under-estimate the impact of a simple compliment. When someone impresses or inspires you, tell them. Simple words, spoken from the heart can fuel the spirit.

NOTE TO JAKE: Thank you. You are one special boy, and I love you dearly.

Save the Date -- 31 Cent Scoop Night!!

I Scream! Scream You!
We all Scream for Ice Cream!

Mark your calendar now -- Baskin Robbins 31-cent Scoop Night is coming!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009
5:00 - 10:00 p.m.
Check the website for a participating location near you!! And spread the word!

A Good Cry

I watched "Marley & Me" again last night. And I cried again.

For anyone who has ever lost a beloved pet, that film will make the tears flow for obvious reasons. But somehow, last night, my tears were different.

For the first time, I wasn't thinking about "Uncle Sam" (our "bad dog" who we lost several years ago) -- instead, while I watched, I let my heart feel the years of life that whizzed by in those two short hours. Somehow that whirlwind felt very real, and as the tears flowed freely down my cheeks, I tasted the bittersweet reality that as cliche as it sounds, life goes by way too fast.

I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for what's going to happen in my life in the next few months because I know there are some significant milestones just around the corner. Yet every day that I tear off a page on my "Life is Crap" calendar (yes, despite the title of this blog, I still get a good laugh out of those things that make you say "Aw crap!" -- like being out of coffee or dropping your cell phone in the toilet), I find myself wishing someone would wave a magic wand to make time stand still.

Within the next five months I will watch my oldest child graduate from high school, celebrate my husband's 50th birthday, celebrate 20 years of marriage, watch my daughter start college, help my middle son get started on his college search process, watch my youngest son start high school, and attend our first "Family Weekend" as the parents of a college student. Five months ago I was baking Christmas cookies.

When did my life start flying by at the speed of film?

Life happens and there is no slowing it down. All we can do is jump in, enjoy the ride, and try to create a story that you can look back upon with joy. When you look back, if the tears come, as they did for me last night, hopefully they are bittersweet -- not because there is regret, but because you would gladly jump back into any moment in time.

"Live a good life. And in the end it's not the years in the life, it's the life in the years." Abraham Lincoln