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March 7, 2010

Lost

No...
...not a roadtrip gone awry, and not the TV show that has the world so entranced with its final season.

Just a bit about how I've been feeling lately.

On the one hand, life has been just wonderful since I started my new job in November. The work I do is meaningful to me, and I know I have a tremendous opportunity to make a difference with this organization -- and Lord knows the work is plentiful, which leaves me with a strong sense of security. However, I can't help feeling a little lost because life seems so out of balance lately as work has somehow overcome my every waking moment.

I don't want to come across as complaining -- because I really love the challenge of it all. But what is exhausting though is that I just don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. Each week I come up with my list of things I need to get accomplished, but then somehow the working hours get filled up with meetings, where little is really accomplished. I find myself arriving early and staying late every day to actually get the work done. By the time I get home each night (after a 40 minute drive), I am spent -- and have little energy for anything that requires thought or human interaction.

I find myself sitting and staring blankly at a television screen, or "catching up" with family and friends through Facebook -- hardly a meaningful exchange.

If I'm smart I get myself to bed at a reasonable hour, but more often than not I fall asleep on the sofa watching TV. When I wake up a few hours later (usually around 1:00 a.m.) I've had just enough rest that my mind starts going again -- usually racing with thoughts of what needs to be done at work the next day.

When I turned the page on the calendar to March, I realized that another month had gone by with little to no time dedicated to really living.

I've been down this road before, and I don't want this to become the norm. I can't let this become the norm -- because there is nothing normal or healthy about a life out of balance. But what do I do to find better alignment?

God, grant me the serenity...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your situation sounds just like me - so let me know when you find the solution!

Sherri @ Luv a Bargain said...

Hang in there :) Happy days will come your way.

Lauren said...

Well Anonymous...since I don't know how to reach you, I hope you'll keep checking in...because I know I'll get there. Half the battle is naming the problem, right? Stay in touch -- and if you'd like to touch base off line to coach each other through it, please feel free to email me directly. Have a blessed Sunday. :)

Bossy Betty said...

I think a lot of people feel this way. For me, I have to prioritize and also get out of the routine I am so apt to get into.

Oh, a really great, invigorating walk when I get home from work does wonders!

I'll be thinking of you....

Jenny said...

Hi Lauren, maybe this is just the downtime. I always forget I need that, too, in the midst of being busy and happy...there is always a fallow time...just like nature.

That came across pretty deep.

Maybe you should just be extra sweet to yourself right now.

Sounds like you are doing good things with your life, though!

Holly said...

I know exactly how you feel! I get so caught up with kid stuff and by the time I get my time I'm to wore out to take full advantage!;) But it'll be ok I just know we'll all get thru and see the other side:)

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